Experts say it’s not uncommon for people to be manipulated out of money while they’re looking for love.
Romance scams have cost consumers billions of dollars. If you’re on a dating app, or thinking about trying one out, you should know how to protect yourself.
It can be exciting to get that first smile or hello when you join an online dating site, and you may be drawn in by an attractive profile picture. But how do you know what’s real and what isn’t, and what may put you at risk?
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“I have seen many people be manipulated out of money…and it's more common than you might think,” said Laurel House, a relationship expert at eHarmony.
House said the eHarmony trust and safety team routinely reviews accounts for inconsistent or suspicious behavior and the site’s required lengthy questionnaire weeds out fake profiles.
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“You can immediately look at the profile and think, is this profile just too perfect?”
“You can actually Google image search that photo, and if that photo has shown up somewhere else online, then you'll be able to see who this person actually is. It's an easy way to find scammers.”
An NBC10 Boston colleague saw some red flags when she was recently talking to a man on another dating site.
He urged her to communicate off the dating app almost immediately.
“You don't want to immediately get off the app. Because if you do now they have your personal information and and then what? You don't have that extra line of defense. You're not able to just block and report them. Now you're on your own,” House said.
House likes her clients to have eight substantive exchanges, including a video date or phone date before moving off the app.
“If that person can't respect what's going to make you feel safe, then they aren't your person,” she explained.
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Our NBC10 Boston colleague was also wary that the man she was talking to told her he was in the U.S. Army, deployed in Germany on a special mission. Is that a red flag?
“I actually have a lot of clients who are in the military and who do work overseas, so that's not necessarily a red flag, but scammers do frequently use military as an excuse. So it's definitely something to question,” House said.
When our employee did an image search of the profile photo she was skeptical of, she found it was linked to three military romance scams.
The FTC analyzed thousands of romance scam reports to reveal scammer favorite lies:
The #1, at 24%, is “I or someone close to me is sick, hurt or in jail.
Others:
- At 18%: “I can teach you how to invest.”
- At 18%: I’m in the military far away.”
- At 18% I need help with an important delivery.”
- At 12%: “We’ve never met but let’s talk about marriage.”
Also beware of “love bombing.”
“Love bombed is when all of a sudden it's you're getting hit with all of this, love this attention, it's love at first sight. And is it? Or are they trying to scam you?” House said.
She said to trust your gut, don’t hesitate to report a profile and block the person. And the FTC warns that nobody legitimate will ask you to send money or hand over your personal or financial information.
Be very wary if someone continuously makes excuses for why they can’t meet you in person.
And we know love can be blind – the FTC recommends you talk to friends or family about any new love interest and pay attention if they’re concerned.
