Despite the reputation dating apps have of not facilitating long term relationships, most users say a romantic partnership is the goal when using apps like Tinder or Hinge.
More than half of men, 53%, say they want a relationship, according to a 2024 Tinder report. A whopping 68% of women say the same. However, almost all users surveyed — 91% of men and 94% of women — said dating is difficult.
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So, what is happening on dates that make those who desire a relationship cut courtships short? App users identified a few red flags that would cause them to not find the other person attractive.
Getting drunk on a first date
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Three-in-four singles don't want to get drinks on a first date, according to 2022 Hinge data.
Of those surveyed, 45% said they prefer sober dates because they are prioritizing their mental health and 55% said it helps them get to know the other person better.
What should you do instead?
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Well, 17% of daters on the app would rather meet for coffee. About 11% would rather see a show or go to a museum and 14% would rather go for a walk.
Being 'too into' Instagram
Those who are "too into" Instagram or Snapchat come off as self absorbed, according to Hinge users.
That's why 74% of said don't want to date someone who is constantly using social networking apps.
While on a date, it's probably best to keep the phone face down.
Not knowing about politics or social issues
Being in the know about social and political issues is a huge plus for daters, according to Tinder data.
A whopping 75% of singles were looking for a match who respected or were invested in social issues.
And almost half, 47%, of singles said that finding out the person they are dating is a non-voter is a "deal breaker."
This doesn't mean your views have to totally align with those of a potential partner. Only 24% of users said they want to date someone who thinks exactly as they do and 46% said they would date someone who has different political views.
Bringing up trauma
A vast majority, 93%, of Hinge users prefer to date someone who is emotionally vulnerable, according to the app's data. They care more about this than height or income.
But, there is a right way to open up and a wrong way.
The right way is to tell stories that demonstrate your goals and values. Perhaps after a few dates you can get into relationships history, too.
The wrong way is to bring up deep-rooted trauma too early.
Be authentic, but don't overshare.
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