There's a pervasive myth that there's a "perfect moment" to ask for a promotion. I see it all the time with my clients: They spend weeks or months meticulously preparing for that one crucial conversation during their annual review, believing that's when their future will be decided. 

But your performance review isn't when decisions are made — it's when decisions are communicated. I call this the "performance review paradox."

While you're focused on nailing that one big conversation, the real groundwork for your advancement is being laid in hundreds of small moments throughout the year. Every presentation you give, every solution you propose, and every project you deliver shapes how leaders view your potential.

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By the time formal review conversations roll around, I'd estimate that 85% of decisions about promotions and advancement are locked in. This explains why even the most prepared professionals often get pushback like:

• "You need more cross-functional experience first."
• "The budget has been allocated." 
• "The role requires stronger strategic thinking." 

Rising above the performance review paradox means embracing that every interaction is an opportunity to shape how leaders see your potential. The good news is that you don't have to wait for a designated time to start building your promotion path. 

You can get started today using these strategies and scripts that have helped my career coaching clients secure the promotions and raises they deserve — including at major companies like Google, Amazon and Microsoft.

Pre-suade and plant seeds early

Look for natural moments to signal your ambitions outside of a dedicated sit-down. Use pre-suasion, a technique championed by psychologist Robert Cialdini. This involves subtly influencing the perceptions and attitudes of your audience (in this case, your boss, other superiors and colleagues) so that when you formally ask for a promotion, it feels like a sensible progression rather than a jarring leap.

For example, when your boss mentions a new initiative during your one-on-one, you might say: "Great to hear we're expanding into AI. I've been researching this, and I see ways to scale our approach. I'd love to take on more strategic planning in this area."

Or after you achieve a success or milestone, you might say: "I'm really happy with how well the client presentation went. Driving stakeholder communication gave me exposure to what a more senior role would be like and I'm eager to take on more of these leadership opportunities."

Contract around a checklist

Before you ask for a promotion directly, talk about what advancement would require. I call this "contracting" — getting clear, explicit agreement on what's needed to get to the next level. When your manager outlines their criteria, they're not only implicitly agreeing that promotion is possible, but they've also become more invested in your development because they helped design it.

Try this script: "I'm excited about growing with the team and would love to understand what advancement to [your desired next role] typically looks like. What skills or experiences would you want to see from someone moving into that position?"

You can also ask questions like: 

• "What milestones or metrics would show I'm ready for [role]? I'd like to have clear targets to aim for."
• "Do we have a typical timeline or path for moving into [new responsibilities]? I'd like to set realistic goals for myself."
• "Who else needs to be on board with the decision to advance me to [X role]?" 

This approach turns the eventual promotion conversation from a big request into a simple checklist review. When review time comes, you can say: "We discussed that improving our client acquisition was a key step toward advancement. I've now led our APAC expansion and redesigned our sales funnel, increasing conversion by 40%. It seems like we've checked those boxes. What are your thoughts?" 

Frame your salary increase as an adjustment

Humans are hardwired for fairness and reciprocity. When we perceive a request as restoring balance rather than asking for special treatment, we're far more likely to agree. 

That's why framing your compensation discussion around "alignment" or "reflecting current responsibilities" is so effective. You're not asking for more money — you're simply pointing out that your pay should match the new level you're operating at.

Try these scripts:

• "Given my expanded responsibilities, it would make sense for my compensation to reflect this scope."
• "Now that I'm managing our largest client relationships, I'd like to discuss adjusting my compensation to be commensurate with this senior-level role."

Start today

Don't wait until your next review rolls around. By planting seeds early, getting explicit agreement on advancement criteria, and framing discussions appropriately, you transform the promotion process from a high-stakes request into a natural progression.

Melody Wilding, LMSW is an executive coach, human behavior professor, and author of "Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge." Download exact scripts to diplomatically say no at work here.

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