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People who are good at small talk use this powerful trick to sound more interesting, says communication expert
Have you ever been to a party and heard "So what do you do?" about 30 seconds into every conversation? If you're like most people, you probably responded with your role and company's name. But if you want to sound really interesting, you have to use a different formula.
As a global communication expert, I've worked with a lot of smart and talented people to help them elevate their presence and boost their confidence at work. Over time, I've discovered that the key — and often missing — ingredient for better small talk is relatability.
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In my book, "Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons," I lay out how you can build relatability, which increases engagement and connection, by answering the ubiquitous "What do you do?" question with this formula:
"You know how [talk about issues you solve]? So what I do is [share the solutions you offer]. In fact, [drop some proof]."
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Let's break down the three steps:
1. Talk about the issues you solve
There's nothing wrong with answering "What do you do?" with your company and job title. But it doesn't tell people much and, frankly, it's just not that interesting.
Instead, start with a rhetorical question. For example:
- "You know how cyberattacks are getting more frequent and sophisticated?"
- "You know how you see ads when you scroll through a news story?"
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What you're doing with this rhetorical question is referencing an everyday problem your conversation partner may have heard about or even encountered firsthand. It paints an interesting visual people can relate to and understand, whether or not they're familiar with your job function or industry.
2. Share the solutions you offer
Now it's time to dive deeper into what your work involves, by following up with the solutions you offer. If you're not sure how to articulate this, think about the real-life implications of what you do every day.
Building on the examples above, you might add:
- "What I do is create software systems that alert companies when a suspicious user tries to access their platform."
- "What I do is research the best places to put ads so that they have maximum visibility."
3. Drop some proof
Conclude your response with some evidence or context. This is where you can use company names, numbers, or a story to tie it all together.
For example, finishing out the examples above, you might say:
- "In fact, our organization is one of the largest cybersecurity companies in the world with clients like [well-known company]."
- "In fact, the click-through rate of our ads is around 3%, which is much higher than the industry average."
This kind of closing gives weight to your claims, makes your work tangible, and solidifies your credibility.
How I use this powerful formula
I used this trick myself on a recent flight. I said:
"You know how communicating clearly and confidently is one of the most important workplace skills, but so many people and teams struggle with it? What I do is speak at conferences and facilitate workshops to help teams collaborate better at work. In fact, I have a communications book out and I'm headed to an event now."
Suddenly, the person I was chatting with had so many questions because he could relate.
Since the "What do you do?" question is bound to come up, you can rely on this small talk strategy to craft a compelling introduction, talk about your work, and connect with new people in a more meaningful way.
Jessica Chen is a global communications expert, keynote speaker, and a former Emmy-Award Winning TV journalist. Her new book "Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons" teaches smart professionals how to develop workplace confidence and build a career they love using strategic communications skills to stand out. Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn and Instagram.
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