The most persuasive people always use 3 tactics to influence others, say psychologists and executive coaches

Whether you're negotiating a pay raise, presenting ideas to your colleagues or convincing your friends to try out a new restaurant in your city, persuasion is an integral part of communication in your daily life.

The most persuasive people are able to prove their point without seeming manipulative or ill-intended. They know how to make their voices heard.

Here are three tactics they use to influence others, according to psychologists and executive coaches.

1. They speak with conviction

Sometimes, being persuasive is more about how you say something than what you're saying. You can make a big impact by making small changes in your word choice, according to Melody Wilding, an executive coach, LinkedIn Learning instructor and author.

Wilding has coached leaders for over 12 years on how to communicate more persuasively, and says that speaking with conviction and authority is key.

"Consider the difference between saying 'I think we should …' versus 'In my experience ….' One signals uncertainty, the other expertise," Wilding wrote for CNBC Make It last month. "Or how about 'I'm trying to …' versus 'We're implementing …'? The first suggests struggle, the second implies purposeful action."

Instead of saying, "I guess we should switch our approach," in your next team meeting, for example, you could say something like, "It's clear that we need to tweak our methods."

Switching out passive, "weak" words for ones that show action helps your message land better and shows confidence. Be mindful not to get carried away and use jargon that's hard to understand or feels unnatural, Wilding added — simply be more direct.

2. They don't argue, they debate

It can be difficult to relay a message when the other person feels like they're being attacked, or like you're taking a dig at them. You can fix this problem by framing these conversations as debates instead of arguments, according to organizational psychologist Adam Grant.

A debate "sends a message that you want to think like a scientist, not a preacher or a prosecutor — and encourages the other person to think that way, too," Grant wrote in his 2021 book "Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know."

Highly persuasive people are able to hear others out and find a middle ground without abandoning their own viewpoints, Grant added.

"A good debate is not a war [or] even a tug-of-war ... it's more like a dance," he wrote. "If you try too hard to lead, your partner will resist. If you can adapt your moves to hers, and get her to do the same, you're more likely to end up in rhythm."

3. They repeat themselves — but not literally

When someone gives a speech or address, you may notice them going back to their main message after each point that they make. This isn't coincidental — underlining your message, without actually using the same exact words, is a great way to emphasize what you're saying without sounding redundant.

"Repeating the main thrust of your argument and certain key phrases can make what you're saying more memorable and create a feeling of persuasive familiarity," communication experts Kathy and Ross Petras wrote for CNBC Make It last year.

Say the message you want to get across is, "We need to all collaborate as a team." You may restate the point by saying something like, "How can we expect our team to succeed without everyone working together?" or "Collaboration is key to building relationships and being efficient."

"You don't want to sound like a broken record, but you do want to reiterate the idea or concept you are pitching two or three times, in subtly different ways," Kathy and Ross Petras added. "The last part is key."

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