The No. 1 thing highly successful people do to build relationships: It's like ‘an audit,' says expert

Whether at your place of work or in your personal life, relationships can be tough to build — but some have a knack for it.

"The way that highly successful people build relationships is really not taking your relationships for granted," life coach Francesca Hogi told CNBC Make It at the Fast Company Innovation Festival. They work on their communication skills, respect other people's boundaries and are clear about their own.

Another thing successful people do is develop a sense of self-awareness about how they interact with other people. "I think of it as doing an audit" of relationships, says Hogi.

Here's how.

'Maybe I'm good at showing up at a time of crisis'

One way to gain that self-awareness is to identify patterns in your interactions with others. Ask yourself, what are my strengths in relationships, and where can I do better?

"Some people are very good at being a sounding board," says Hogi, "but maybe they're not as good at being vulnerable and letting themselves be seen."

Some can get close to people very quickly, but will push them away when a hurdle comes along. On the flip side, "maybe I'm good at showing up at a time of crisis," adds Hogi, "and that's great, but maybe I'm not as engaged when things are going well."

Take an honest look at how you handle yourself in relationships and take note of what you're prone to do.

'What's my version of that?'

Another way to better understand how you relate to people is to observe the other relationships around you.

"You could look at other people in your life and that can help give you some information," says Hogi. Are they impatient? Do they give the person across from them their full attention? Then ask yourself, what's my version of that?

"What role might I be playing that I'm actually blind to, because it's just so much a part of how I'm used to showing up?" says Hogi.

Ultimately, the point of taking this inventory of your relationships is to see how you can improve.

Building strong relationships comes from a set of "skills that you can develop," says Hogi, "but it has to start with recognizing that they are skills and recognizing that there is room for growth."

Remember as you do this, not to be too hard on yourself. No one's behavior is perfect, says Hogi. "This is all our first time being human."

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