The third and most-viewed season of "The White Lotus" features a crew of self-absorbed tourists navigating a rather tense luxury vacation. 

Of all the bizarre dynamics at play in the HBO show — kissing brothers, potentially murderous May-December romances, a rogue gun — the most captivating one might be the girls' trip. Three childhood best friends, played by Michelle Monaghan, Leslie Bibb, and Carrie Coon, who take pride in the longevity of their relationship, are quickly finding out they might not have much in common anymore. 

Perhaps the reason this storyline nearly monopolizes viewers' attention is because it's all too familiar. 

In "The White Lotus," what is supposed to be a bonding victory-lap turns out to be a war zone of passive aggression. For anyone who has traveled with friends, this is a painfully accurate portrait. 

Travel experts and therapists agree that vacations have the propensity to fracture relationships, and even the deepest connections are a trip away from potential ruin.

'I felt like she was shaming me for not spending more money'

One reason for this unfortunate phenomenon is that many of the guardrails that everyday life provides disappear when you travel, says Eman Almusawi, a therapist at A Better Life Therapy. 

"Friendships rely on a balance of closeness and personal space," Almusawi says. "When that balance is thrown off, especially on vacation, people might respond in ways that catch us off guard." 

Routines help us manage our emotions and, as a result, protect our relationships. 

"When we're out of our usual environment, it's easy for our friends, and even ourselves, to slip into what therapists call the 'adaptive child' mode — where we act from a more emotional, less controlled place," Almusawi says. 

Christie Tate experienced this firsthand when she and a friend traveled from Chicago to San Francisco in 2023. Tate, 51, is a writer and authored the book "BFF: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found."

The tension started before they even reached the Bay Area. Tate's friend has "a lot more resources" and decided to fly first class while Tate opted for economy. Her friend also booked them a hotel that was out of Tate's budget. And money is an infamously taboo topic among friends.

"I find that anything I can't talk about in relationships gets gummy and becomes toxic," Tate says.

When the two landed, Tate expressed that she felt judged for spending less and her friend felt judged for wanting to spend more. "I felt like she was making it a moral issue and she felt like I was making a moral issue," Tate says. 

"I felt like she was shaming me for not spending more money. The facts are I don't have that kind of money." 

This became a pain point for the entire trip. How much money each of them was willing to spend on transit, meals, museum tickets, excursions, all had to be discussed. 

"Expectations butt up against reality and that's painful," Tate says. "You feel like, 'I took the time off work and I spent all this money. It should be smooth sailing.' It's not realistic and you add in other people and their expectations and their bank accounts and it's bound to crash." 

Ultimately, Tate says she gained some important communication skills, but also realized that isn't what she wanted to be doing on a vacation. 

"In retrospect, the challenges that came up were really important and enriched me as a person," she says. "But that's not fun. It's not fun to be enriched and grow." 

While the two friends keep saying they should do another trip together, they "haven't pulled the trigger," Tate says. 

'A good trip is just a really heightened experience of life'

Despite vacations being the site of relational turmoil, they also facilitate the type of bonding that can only really happen when you're out of your comfort zone.

Tour guide Danielle Oteri has navigated dozens of group trips through southern Italy and New York City, and they're all typically made up of the same archetypes: the planner, the drinker, the one who is quietly boiling with resentment. 

"I've seen some lunatics," she says. 

But the friction is often punctuated with extraordinarily fun moments, ones you don't get in your day-to-day.

"A good trip is just a really heightened experience of life," Oteri says. "With that it can also really put pressure on people's weak points or their attitude or their reluctances. What's best about that person and what's worst about that person is probably all going to occur." 

In "The White Lotus," we see this all play out during the full moon festivities. These three women are desperately grasping to have an experience they can't have at home, and in doing so all of their best and worst qualities surface.

How to travel well with friends

The easiest way to ensure your trip doesn't end with broken bonds is to do some vetting beforehand, travel experts say.

Be sure that discussions about money go deeper than the overall cost of your trip, Elaine Glusac, author of The New York Times' Frugal Traveler column, told CNBC Make It.

"Talk about how you'd like to allocate the budget across variables like dining and entertainment," she says. "If you both want to see a Broadway show, for example, and one wants premium seats and the other is OK in the back row, would you two be OK sitting apart?"

Food costs often aren't parsed out beforehand, but can cause considerable friction.

"If one wants a fancy dinner and the other wants street food, perhaps you can compromise and go your separate ways one evening, but if that is a nightly thing, it might not be the best fit for the two of you to travel together," Glusac says.

You also should have honest conversations about how much time each of you is comfortable spending alone.

"You can agree to do things at a different rate and meet up later for a meal, but you should both be content on your own, which you should hash out prior," Glusac says.

If your friend doesn't like going to museums or eating meals by themselves, but you do, this might indicate that you won't travel well together.

And, of course, be sure your interests align. You don't want to be in the position of convincing someone that a museum or a show is worth their time or money. And you don't want to be dragged out to a historical site you have no interest in seeing.

No matter how many questions you ask prior to traveling, it's likely you'll hit some unexpected snag.

If that's the case, Oteri says there is a short-term solution she's witnessed work on her tours — as evidenced in "The White Lotus'" "Full-Moon Party" episode: "The more the group drinks the easier they get along."

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