Jimmy Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, were married 77 years. Their 5 marriage secrets
The couple fell in love when they were teenagers and had an enduring romance into their 90s. Here's how they kept their relationship strong for decades.
By A. Pawlowski | TODAY ••
Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter were married for 77 years, the longest marriage for a presidential couple in U.S. history.
Their romance began when they fell in love as teenagers and became husband and wife in 1946. It ended only when she died in 2023 at 96. He passed away on Sunday at the age of 100.
Carter called his wife an equal partner in everything he did and said that as long as she was in the world, he always knew somebody loved and supported him.
“The best thing I ever did was marrying Rosalynn. That’s the pinnacle of my life,” the former president said in 2015. “That’s the best thing that happened to me.”
Rosalynn Carter called their relationship “exciting, loving, interesting, unpredictable, challenging” and “a wonderful romance.”
“Over the years, we became not only friends and lovers, but partners,” she said in 2014.
They seemed inseparable, traveling and volunteering together long after Jimmy Carter left the White House. Their deep love and romantic connection came with a sense of fun — the couple embraced for “kiss cams” at sporting events when they were in their 80s and 90s.
A poignant cartoon posted by Mike Luckovich, the cartoonist for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, shows the couple reunited after his death, with Rosalynn Carter embracing her husband as he arrives in heaven.
Here’s what the Carters said about their secrets to marriage success:
Have respect for each other
“Early in our marriage, we developed respect for what the other could do,” Rosalynn Carter said. “He has always thought I could do anything, and because of that, I, and we, have had some wonderful adventures.”
The couple raised four children and ran a farm supply business together. She campaigned for her husband when he ran for president, was a key adviser during his political career and has been called his “secret weapon.”
“I am proud of him,” she said.
Happy couples still feel their partner is worthy of respect even during times of frustration, according to the Gottman Institute, which studies marriage and relationships. Feeling contempt, on the other hand, is the No. 1 predictor of divorce, the institute’s research has found.
Give each other space
Let your spouse have a full life with their own interests.
“We found out a long time ago that disagreements are inevitable between two strong-willed people,” Jimmy Carter said when the couple was interviewed for the book “What Makes a Marriage Last.”
“But we decided early on to give each other plenty of space. If Rosalynn is interested in something, she does it her own way, accepting my help when she needs it. And she gives me plenty of space to work on my own projects but helps me when I need it.”
Realize there will be tough times
The couple agreed to write a book together, “Everything to Gain: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life,” but Rosalynn Carter called the joint project a “disaster.” They ended up not talking to each other for a while and resorted to writing “ugly letters,” she recalled.
“We really did have a terrible time writing the book,” Rosalynn Carter told TODAY in 1987.
“We thought perhaps the last chapter would be about our divorce,” Jimmy Carter added.
But they got through it and realized such brief times of strife “get lost in the good life we have,” she said.
Married couple Rosalynn Carter and former Georgia governor Jimmy Carter, the Democratic presidential candidate, share a moment aboard his campaign plane. Getty Images
Don’t go to bed angry
After that stressful period, the couple always tried to overcome their differences and settle any conflict at night — no matter what happened during the day.
“We also make up and give each other a kiss before we go to sleep,” Jimmy Carter told PBS in 2021.
“We really try to become completely reconciled each night.”
Always look for new things to do together
The couple learned to downhill ski when she was 59 and he was 62, Rosalynn Carter recalled, and there were other adventures they explored together.
“We climbed mountains. We climbed in Nepal. We climbed Mount Fuji,” she recalled when her husband turned 90.
“I became a fly fisher. He was already a fly fisher, but I wanted to learn because we do these things together. Fly fisher. Birder.”
One study found married couples who take part in such “shared exciting activities” every week have significantly higher levels of romantic excitement and relationship satisfaction.
“By trying new and exciting activities together, couples can rekindle feelings similar to ones they once had,” Sonja Lyubomirsky, psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, told the American Psychological Association.
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James Earl “Jimmy” Carter, Jr., seen at seven years of age in 1932, in his hometown of Plains, Georgia.
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Georgia State Sen. Jimmy Carter hugs his wife, Rosalynn, at his Atlanta campaign headquarters, Sept. 15, 1966. The state senator would eventually become Governor of Georgia, then, President of the United States.
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Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jimmy Carter casts his vote in Plains, Georgia’s, first joint primary, Sept. 9, 1970.
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Jimmy Carter, the new Governor of Georgia, shown at his desk in Atlanta, Feb. 19, 1971.
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Georgia Gov. Jimmy Carter signs a Georgia Senate House resolution opposing forced busing to achieve integration in the classrooms of the United States, Feb. 25, 1972. The resolution asks Congress to call a constitutional convention for the purpose of proposing an antibusing amendment.
Former Georgia Gov. Jimmy Carter announces his qualification for federal matching funds to help finance his campaign for the 1976 Democratic presidential nomination, Aug. 14, 1975, in Washington, D.C.
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Former Georgia Gov. Jimmy Carter, right, with a crowd of 5,000 people at Youngstown’s Federal Plaza in Youngstown, Ohio, in his quest for support in Tuesday’s Ohio Democratic primary, June 7, 1976.
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Democratic presidential candidate Jimmy Carter gives an informal press conference in Los Angeles during a campaign tour through the West and Midwest, Aug. 23, 1976.
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Jimmy Carter stands in a large mound of peanuts at the Carter Peanut Warehouse in Plains, Georgia, Sept. 22, 1976.
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President-elect Jimmy Carter leans over to shake hands with some of the people riding the “Peanut Special” to Washington D.C., Jan. 19, 1977. They will travel all night, arriving in Washington in time for Carter’s inauguration as President the day after.
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Jimmy Carter takes the oath of office as the nation’s 39th president during inauguration ceremonies in Washington, D.C., on Jan. 20, 1977. Carter’s wife, Rosalynn, holds the Bible used in the first inauguration by George Washington as U.S. Chief Justice Warren Burger administers the oath. Looking on at left are, Happy Rockefeller, Betty Ford, Joan Mondale, Amy Carter and outgoing President Gerald Ford. Behind Carter is Vice President Walter Mondale. At far right is former Vice President Nelson Rockefeller.
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President Jimmy Carter waves to the crowd while walking with his wife, Rosalynn, and their daughter, Amy, along Pennsylvania Avenue from the Capitol to the White House following his inauguration in Washington, Jan. 20, 1977.
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President Jimmy Carter and first lady Rosalynn Carter stand with Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau and his wife Margaret, at the White House in Washington, Feb. 21, 1977. Carter hosted a State Dinner for the visiting Canadian leader.
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President Jimmy Carter, right, and Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II are photographed in 1977 with French President Valery Giscard d’Estaing, at Buckingham Palace in London.
Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images
Left to right: Pierre Trudeau, Prince Charles, Princess Margaret, Takeo Fukuda, James Callaghan, Valery Giscard d’Estaing, Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother, President Jimmy Carter, Giulio Andreotti, Helmut Schmidt converge as part of the 1977 G7 meeting.
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Jimmy Carter and family celebrate Christmas at home, Dec. 25, 1978.
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President Jimmy Carter rides with Chancellor Helmut Schmidt on a visit to West Germany in 1978 during a review of United States Forces at a base near Frankfurt.
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Demonstrators burn an American flag, Nov. 9, 1979, atop the wall of the U.S. Embassy where American hostages have been held since Nov. 4. The Iranian hostage crisis, which ended in failure for Carter, was one of the reasons why he lost his reelection bid to Ronald Reagan.
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David Roeder shouts and waves as he and others arrive at Rhein-Main U.S. Air Force base in Frankfurt, West Germany from Algeria on Jan. 21, 1981. He was among 52 Americans held hostage in Iran for 444 days after their capture at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran. The crisis was one of the defining moments of Carter’s presidency that led to the loss of his reelection bid for the White House.
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President Bill Clinton presents former President Jimmy Carter, right, with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, during a ceremony at the Carter Center in Atlanta Monday, Aug. 9, 1999.
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Former President Jimmy Carter receives the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo City Hall, Norway on Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2002. He became the only man to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for work done after his time in office.
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Former President Jimmy Carter poses for a portrait during the Toronto International Film Festival in Toronto, Monday, Sept. 10, 2007.
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President-elect Barack Obama is welcomed by President George W. Bush for a meeting at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2009, with former presidents George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter.
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Former President Jimmy Carter signs his name in the guest book at the Jewish Community center in Havana, Cuba, March 28, 2011. Carter arrived in Cuba to discuss economic policies and ways to improve Washington-Havana relations, which were more tense than usual over the imprisonment of Alan Gross, a U.S. contractor, on the island.
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Former President Jimmy Carter, left, and his wife, Rosalynn Carter, work at a Habitat for Humanity building site Monday, Nov. 2, 2015, in Memphis, Tenn. Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, have volunteered a week of their time annually to Habitat for Humanity since 1984, events dubbed “Carter work projects” that draw thousands of volunteers.
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Former President Jimmy Carter, right, works at a Habitat for Humanity building project Monday, Oct. 7, 2019, in Nashville, Tenn. Carter wears a bandage after a fall the day before at his home in Plains, Georgia.
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President Joe Biden (far right) and first lady Jill Biden (far left) visit former President Jimmy Carter and former first lady Rosalynn Carter, May 3, 2021, in Plains, Georgia.
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Former President Jimmy Carter and his wife, former first lady Rosalynn Carter, celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary, July 10, 2021, in Plains, Georgia.
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