Shaquille O'Neal Reveals His Biggest Regret Over Friendship With ‘Brother' Kobe Bryant
"I haven't eaten. I haven't slept. I'm looking at all the tapes. I'm sick right now"
By Pamela Avila ••
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Co-MVPs Shaquille O’Neal #32 and Kobe Bryant #24 of the Western Conference are interviewed by TNT’s Ernie Johnson after the Western Conference defeated the Eastern Conference in the 58th NBA All-Star Game, part of 2009 NBA All-Star Weekend at US Airways Center on February 15, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona.
You can't talk about the Los Angeles Lakers' history without bringing up Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant.
The two dominated the basketball court together from 1996 to 2004 and while they had their share of highs and lows of back then, the two later became like family.
When news broke that the 41-year-old NBA superstar had been killed in a helicopter crash in Los Angeles on Sunday, Jan. 26, O'Neal took to Instagram to share a touching tribute to the legend that had helped him and the Lakers secure three consecutive NBA Championships from 2000 to 2002.
"There are no words to express the pain I'm going through right now with this tragic and sad moment of losing my niece Gigi &my friend, my brother, my partner in winning championships, my dude and my homie," O'Neal wrote, alongside a series of pictures of him and Bryant on and off the court.
On Monday, O'Neal paid tribute to his longtime friend on his podcast "The Big Podcast With Shaq," opening up about the moment he found out about Kobe's death, thinking it was a hoax, reaching out to Bryant's wife, Vanessa Bryant, and how his shocking death is "going to hurt for a long, long time."
"I'm not doing well. I'm sick. I'm just getting over the death of my sister... I haven't been sleeping since [her] death, because it's just, you know, not thinking about just the good times but thinking about the times where I could've [done something], or I could've said something, or I could've loved them more, or I could've shown them more support," O'Neal says. "And the same thing hit when I found out this news. I was downstairs working out with Shaqir when my other son showed me the TMZ clip."
The 47-year-old adds that when his son showed him the footage of the helicopter crash scene, he "yelled" at him to "get that s--- out of my face" because he figured it was just a hoax.
"I didn't want to believe it," he continues. "Then everybody's calling me, 'Is that true? Is it true?' So I'm like, it must not be a hoax because the whole world knows this information. So now I'm saying, please don't be true. Please don't be true, please don't be true. And I'm watching and then you get the confirmation. Sad enough and then you know his daughter was with him. I didn't do anything. I haven't eaten. I haven't slept. I'm looking at all the tapes. I'm sick right now."
Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash on Sunday. The Los Angeles Lakers star played 20 years in the NBA, inspiring athletes everywhere.
During the podcast episode, the retired NBA player also shared what his relationship with Bryant was like.
"Our relationship was that of brothers. We are brothers," he continues. "When I saw Kobe and his daughters, loved them. When he saw my kids, loved them. If you looked at my kids' Instagram... he talked to [Shareef O'Neal] yesterday morning... so all the stuff that is documented between us, it was never a dislike, it's just, listen, this is what brothers do. I have a younger brother, we fight all the time but guess what? I love him."
He adds, "And I love Kobe Bryant. I'm the first say hey, I got four rings and I know I couldn't have gotten three without him [...] I'm glad we became closer. But I just sit back and say, what if. What if?"
O'Neal's 20-year-old son, Shareef, also took to Instagram to share the screenshots of Bryant privately messaging him to check in on him.
"I'm crying while reading these messages over," the young basketball player wrote. "Even when I was at my worst you checked in on me so often, I really appreciate you for that."
The former Laker continued, "I know he's going to be remembered and all that stuff but I just wish he was here. I just wish I could say something to him."
O'Neal also shared that he reached out to Vanessa on Sunday and spoke to her sister to offer his condolences. "My heart goes out to Vanessa because she lost two. She lost her beautiful Gigi who was born on the same day as my 13-year-old and that's what really hurts," he says. "Stuff like this will always hurt."
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A large mural tribute for basketball legend Kobe Bryant and his daughter as seen painted over the Tenement basketball court by the Tenement Visual Artists, in Taguig, Philippines, Jan. 30, 2020.
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A man walks past a mural honoring Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, who died in a helicopter crash along with seven others. The mural was painted by artist Artoon.
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A mural painted by Australian street artist Lush Sux is seen on Budd Street, Collingwood, Jan. 30, 2020, in Melbourne, Australia.
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A giant mural painted in Kobe Bryant’s likeness by street artist Jorit Agoch stands in the Montedonzelli district of Naples, Italy, on Jan. 30, 2020.
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Anaheim Ducks fans, Ducks players and the Arizona Coyotes pay tribute to NBA Hall of Fame player from the Los Angeles Lakers Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna and the seven others lost in a helicopter accident on January 26 before a game played on Jan. 29, 2020, at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California.
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Kurtis MacDermid (56) of the Los Angeles Kings wears a sticker on his helmet honoring Kobe Bryant and Gigi, before the game against the Tampa Bay Lightning at Staples Center on Jan. 29, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
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Candles spell out “KOBE” at a vigil held at UNLV as a tribute to nine victims killed in a helicopter crash in Southern California, including Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna Bryant, on Jan. 29, 2019, in Las Vegas, Nevada.
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Attendees release 24 purple and yellow balloons during a vigil held at UNLV as a tribute to nine victims killed in a helicopter crash in Southern California, including Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna Bryant, on Jan. 29, 2019, in Las Vegas, Nevada. Kobe Bryant played in preseason NBA games at UNLV, as well as having practiced with the USA Basketball Men’s National Team in Las Vegas ahead of the 2008 and 2012 Olympics.
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Phoenix Suns forward Kelly Oubre Jr. (3) looks down during a 24 second shot clock violation in honor of Kobe Bryant during an NBA basketball game between the Phoenix Suns and the Dallas Mavericks Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2020, in Dallas. Bryant and his daughter were among nine people killed Sunday in a California helicopter crash.
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Duke players wear a No. 24 jersey during a moment of silence in memory of Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna Bryant, prior to an NCAA college basketball game against Pittsburgh in Durham, North Carolina, Jan. 28, 2020.
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Fans place candles, flowers and mementos in tribute to Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna, outside of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Jan. 27, 2020. The NBA legend and his 13-year-old daughter died with six other passengers and the pilot of a helicopter that crashed in Los Angeles on Sunday, shocking fans worldwide.
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Fans place candles, flowers and mementos in tribute to Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna, outside of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Jan. 27, 2020. The NBA legend and his 13-year-old daughter died with six other passengers and the pilot of a helicopter that crashed in Los Angeles on Sunday, shocking fans worldwide.
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From left: Houston Rockets center Tyson Chandler, guard Austin Rivers and forward P.J. Tucker cry during a tribute to Kobe Bryant before an NBA basketball game against the Denver Nuggets, Sunday, Jan. 26, 2020, in Denver. Bryant died in a California helicopter crash Sunday.
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Photos of the late Nipsey Hussle and Kobe Bryant are projected onto a screen while YG, John Legend, Kirk Franklin, DJ Khaled, Meek Mill and Roddy Ricch perform onstage in their honor during the 62nd Grammy Awards at Staples Center on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
Frederic J. Brown/AFP via Getty Images
People gather around a makeshift memorial for former NBA and Los Angeles Lakers player Kobe Bryant after learning of his death at LA Live plaza in front of Staples Center in Los Angeles on Jan. 26, 2020. NBA legend Bryant died January 26 in a helicopter crash in suburban Los Angeles, along with his 13-year-old daughter Gianna.
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People cheer for former NBA star Kobe Bryant, who was killed in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California, as they mourn near Staples Center, Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California. Nine people have been confirmed dead in the crash, among them Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter Gianna.
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Snoop Dogg wears a Los Angeles Lakers sweat suit in memory of Kobe Bryant to perform at The Fillmore on Jan. 26, 2020, in Detroit, Michigan. Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash on January 26th.
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Australia’s Nick Kyrgios wears a Lakers jersey with Kobe Bryant’s number to warm up to play against Spain’s Rafael Nadal during their men’s singles match on day eight of the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne on Jan. 27, 2020.
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Lonzo Ball (2) of the New Orleans Pelicans holds the ball for a 24 second shot clock violation to honor the passing of NBA legend Kobe Bryant during a game against the Boston Celtics, Jan. 26, 2020, at Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana.
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Victor Nava holds up his sign at LA Live to pay tribute to Kobe Bryant who died earlier in a helicopter crash on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
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Los Angeles Lakers fan Victor Chavez, 30, of Los Angeles, mourns the death of retired NBA star Kobe Bryant outside the Staples Center prior to the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California. Bryant, 41, died in a helicopter crash in near Calabasas, California, to the shock and grief of fans nationwide.
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Coco Gauff wear shoes that pay tribute to NBA star Kobe Bryant during her third round match Women’s doubles match against Shuko Aoyama and Ena Shibahara of Japan on day eight of the 2020 Australian Open at Melbourne Park, Jan. 27, 2020, in Melbourne, Australia.
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Alicia Keys and Boyz II Men sing in honor of late NBA legend Kobe Bryant during the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards, Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles.
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Billboards around LA Live pay tribute to Kobe Bryant who died earlier in a helicopter crash on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
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Nike shoes worn by Josh Hart (3) of the New Orleans Pelicans memorializing former NBA player Kobe Bryant are pictured during a game against the Boston Celtics at the Smoothie King Center on Jan. 26, 2020, in New Orleans, Louisiana.
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The Los Angeles International Airport light in up gold and purple on Jan. 27, 2020, in honor of Kobe Bryant. Bryant died on January 26th when the helicopter carrying him, his daughter Gianna and seven other people crashed, killing all onboard.
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Fans gather at LA Live to pay tribute to Kobe Bryant who died earlier in a helicopter crash on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
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Darrin Dnote Milton poses with his Lakerbug car at a vigil for the late NBA star Kobe Bryant, Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
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Fans place flowers, candles and memorabilia at a makeshift memorial during a vigil held for NBA legend Kobe Bryant outside the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California, Jan. 27, 2020. Fans gathered outside the Staples Center in Los Angeles to mourn the passing of NBA star Kobe Bryant. The 41-year-old Bryant died alongside his 13-year-old daughter Gianna and seven others in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California.
Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
Photos of the late Nipsey Hussle and Kobe Bryant are projected onto a screen while YG, John Legend, Kirk Franklin, DJ Khaled, Meek Mill and Roddy Ricch perform onstage in their honor during the 62nd Grammy Awards at Staples Center on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
Michael Tullberg/Getty Images
Distraught Los Angeles Lakers fan Naima Smith cries at a vigil for the late NBA star Kobe Bryant on Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California.
James Devaney/Getty Images
Exterior (above) and interior lights of the Madison Square Garden shine in purple and gold to honor NBA great Kobe Bryant after the game between the New York Knicks and the Brooklyn Nets on Jan. 26, 2020, in New York.
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Children look at a memorial wall painted in the image of former Los Angeles Lakers basketball player Kobe Bryant following his death, near the “House of Kobe” gym built in honour of his 2016 visit to the Philippines, in Manila on Jan. 27, 2020.
Azmi Tuncel/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images
Fans place flowers, candles and memorabilia at a makeshift memorial during a vigil held for NBA legend Kobe Bryant outside the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California, Jan. 27, 2020. Fans gathered outside the Staples Center in Los Angeles to mourn the passing of NBA star Kobe Bryant. The 41-year-old Bryant died alongside his 13-year-old daughter Gianna and seven others in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California.
Apu Gomes/AFP via Getty Images
People gather around a makeshift memorial for former NBA and Los Angeles Lakers player Kobe Bryant after learning of his death, at LA Live plaza in front of Staples Center in Los Angeles, Jan. 26, 2020.
Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE via Getty Images
Exterior and interior lights (above) of the Madison Square Garden shine in purple and gold to honor NBA great Kobe Bryant after the game between the New York Knicks and the Brooklyn Nets on Jan. 26, 2020, in New York.
Apu Gomes/AFP via Getty Images
People gather around a makeshift memorial for former NBA and Los Angeles Lakers player Kobe Bryant after learning of his death, at LA Live plaza in front of Staples Center in Los Angeles, Jan. 26, 2020.
David McNew/Getty Images
Fans mourn at a makeshift memorial near Staples Center for former NBA star Kobe Bryant, who was killed in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California, Jan. 26, 2020, in Los Angeles, California. Nine people have been confirmed dead in the crash, among them Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter Gianna.
Frederic J. Brown/AFP via Getty Images
Fans gather at a makeshift candlelight memorial across from Staples center to mourn the death of former Los Angeles Lakers basketball player Kobe Bryant in Los Angeles, California, Jan. 26, 2020.
David McNew/Getty Images
People mourn at a makeshift memorial at Mamba Sports Academy for former NBA great Kobe Bryant, who was killed in a helicopter crash while commuting to the academy, Jan. 26, 2020 in Newbury Park, California. Nine people have been confirmed dead in the crash in Calabasas, among them Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter Gianna.
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People gather around a makeshift memorial for former NBA and Los Angeles Lakers player Kobe Bryant after learning of his death, at LA Live plaza in front of Staples Center in Los Angeles, Jan. 26, 2020.
Aaron Favila/AP
A boy plays basketball in front of images of former NBA basketball player Kobe Bryant at the “House of Kobe” basketball court in Valenzuela, Philippines, Jan. 27, 2020. Fans left flowers and messages on the walls at the newly inaugurated court after learning of Bryant’s death. Bryant died in a helicopter crash.
When asked if there's anything he wishes he could have done differently, O'Neal answered, "I wish I would've communicated more. But again, that's just how we are."
He explains, "Of course, when we saw each other it was love and respect and he looked out for the kids and I kept an eye on his daughter Gigi, she was a fabulous player. I just wish I could've talked to him like before. That's it. Everything that happened, happened. A lot of people like to look at the negative side but as a Laker fan, the plan worked out perfectly. We won three in a row."
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