My Red Sox offseason to-do list: Juan Soto, Juan Soto, Juan Soto…

Everyone knows what the Red Sox need, because they've been saying it for months: an ace atop the rotation, a right-handed bat to balance the lineup, and a middle infielder who can catch the ball.

With all due respect to conventional wisdom, bleep that. They need a superstar. And there's one player out there who checks exactly zero of the aforementioned boxes, but should be their overwhelming priority, anyway: Juan Soto.

You want to win your fans back, forget about half measures. Gingerly dipping your toes into the waters containing a Willy Adames or Jack Flaherty won't fill Fenway Park or reverse NESN's ratings slide or even convince anyone you're in it to win it again.

After five years of neglect, it's time the Red Sox rejoined the superstar business. They keep hinting they intend to spend this winter, and Soto is how they can blow our doors down.

The 26-year-old is on the clearest Hall of Fame trajectory of any young player in the league. He's a full year younger than rookie Red Sox infielder David Hamilton, for goodness sake, and has already posted numbers that compare favorably to some of the greatest hitters in history.

His similarity scores on Baseball Reference are a who's who of Hall of Famers, from Mickey Mantle to Frank Robinson to Ken Griffey Jr. He's the only player to debut as a teenager and post an on-base percentage above .400 for seven straight years. His 145 walks in 2021 remain the most of any player in one season in the last 20 years. He is a monster.

He just did as much as anyone to remake the Yankees, transforming last year's 82-win disappointment into this year's American League pennant winners. Though New York lost the World Series to the Dodgers in five games on Wednesday night, don't blame Soto. He reached base in more than half of his plate appearances vs. L.A. and hit .327 with a 1.102 OPS overall this postseason.

That's superstar stuff, and it's exactly what the Red Sox need.

Surely, ownership has taken note of the fact that the best players on the best teams did not come cheap. Think the Dodgers regret paying Mookie Betts, Shohei Ohtani, or World Series MVP Freddie Freeman? No chance. The same goes for New York and Aaron Judge, Gerrit Cole, and Soto. Though the Yankees fell short in a hail of errors on Wednesday, they dominated headlines all season. They powered interest in MLB. There's immeasurable value in that.

Soto did his part, blasting 41 homers and accounting for 7.9 WAR, both career highs. He even earned a Gold Glove nomination, dubious though it may be. The Yankees bought him as a rental, and they got their money's worth.

But now he's a free agent and there might not be a vault big enough to hold his money. The bidding will start at $500 million, and the Red Sox should be prepared to go much higher, because he's worth it. Throw away the value charts that warn against massive outlays and embrace what a Soto signing would mean, on the field and off.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-Imagn Images

He may be left-handed, but who cares. We've already laid out his historic comps. They're all either in the Hall of Fame or headed there. He'd immediately become the focal point of your lineup and clubhouse, allowing Rafael Devers to take his preferred place in the shadows.

Soto was the best player on a World Series champion at age 20 with the Nationals, and the big stage does not faze him. David Ortiz is living proof that superstars who rise to the occasion in October are generational. Soto could anchor the franchise for a decade.

Then there's the entertainment factor. Soto is one of the most unique hitters in baseball, his impeccable eye physically manifested via a batter's box routine that resembles a cross between Psy doing Gangnam Style and the Deion Sanders' Prime Time dance. They call it the Soto Shuffle, and when he suspiciously glides forward after a close pitch, you can feel the entire ballpark on alert with him. He's the only hitter in baseball whose takes are as entertaining as his swings.

Of course, every team in baseball knows all of this, and in the wake of Wednesday's loss, Soto pointedly noted he'll consider all 30 as potential landing spots. The infernal Dodgers could make a run, as well as the deep-pocketed Mets. The Yankees may feel desperate to act. Soto has even been linked to his old club in Washington.

It doesn't matter. The Red Sox have tricked us into believing they can't compete with such resources, but that's a lie. They have as much money as anyone. If they're serious about spending it and winning back an increasingly disillusioned fanbase, there's really only one place to start.

Sign Juan Soto, and let a new day dawn.